So, earlier this week I was lurking for a new pair of specs. Yes, really, I’m blogging about this. Build a bridge and get over it. This is a big thing for me – no joke – I’ve been wearing the same pair of specs for a good clean four years and I’ve become accustomed to their weight upon my insignificant nose-ridge. They’re a part of me now – and I can’t live without them. Ideally, I would like the same glasses – just new, but no such luck, Lens Pro has criminally failed to stock my glasses since the hairy year of 2006. DAMN THEM AND THEIR INCONGRUOUS INVENTORY.
So choosing a new pair of eye-framers is a big thing for me. You know the term: “The eyes are the windows of your soul”? Well, the glasses are like the curtains of those windows – so they better as hell not suck ass. I’ve walked into many abodes just to cringe at their curtain-ware like a snooty internal-design brat (of which I am not) or Drapery elitist (of which I am not) or even a sordid curtain ogler (of which I may be, I’m just not so certain as of yet, but I imagine that would be pretty weird).
In any case, glasses are integral to who I am – I have never chosen to overthrow the characteristics that glasses bring to my face. In all honesty, without my peeperkeepers, my face becomes oh so excruciatingly BLAHBLAH and typical. I’ve become accustomed to their presence upon my mug – and I don’t plan on changing that any time soon. Well, I may be inclined to make a concession on my wedding day – but even then, I don’t want to be unable to recognize myself in pictures. I would be looking back on my wedding pics and gawking at the stranger in the white dress and pointing, yelling to Future Hubby: ‘Who’s this whore? She’s wearing my dress! Damn, I hate when that happens.” FYI, Future Jayne is a little cantankerous.
So glasses choices – I could go a multitude of ways with glasses – but I feel safe in the “I’m wearing nerdy glasses, hear me roar” category of facial framing. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to fling myself into the Buddy Holly Frames Hall of Fame:
The man himself: Buddy Holly.
DUDES: Justin Timberlake, Michael J. Fox Kevin Bacon, Keifer Sutherland
Director Martin Scorsese and Simon Baker (/MELT) at rehearsals for the 2009 Golden Globe Awards. Photo: Getty Images
AND MORE, From top left: Pixie Geldof (These just look stupid, sorry Pix, but seriously), Josh Hartnett, Scarlett Johansson (Hotness!), Sam Preston, Sam Sparro, Gok Wan, Johnny Depp, Kanye West and Mark Ronson. Photo: Metro.co.uk
THE REASON BEING: I look like a douche. Which, you know, is a bad thing.
So I’ve chickened out and gone conservative with:
Missoni – Black + Yellow and FCUK– Tortoise shell – Totally rocking. To be picked up next week sometime from Specsavers – yeah, I know, I’m a pretty thrilling individual.